Moving Blues

Moving is such not-so-sweet sorrow...
Oh crud, I forgot the rest of this Shakespeare quote to mangle,
So I have no clever line to borrow,
And my apartment is in quite a tangle!
Too much accumulated junk,
Too many personal and student papers to shred!
Oh crud, it's putting in me in a funk,
Thinking of all the moving work ahead:
Separating, boxing, decluttering, throwing away,
Taking to Goodwill, wrapping breakables, boxing some more
More and more, day after day,
Until the last box is packed and loaded, making me sore!
Yet I haven't yet begun,
So let me make no more delay.
Just let me get it done,
And I will be ready by the appointed day.

Writing -- for love or money?

That's a question I've wondered about most of my life. I was always writing as a kid, even writing during lunch in junior high school. When I entered high school with its college prep classes, I didn't have as much time to write. Besides, it really wasn't cool, but then I was the class geek, so I would never be cool no matter what I did or didn't do. I always wondered if I could make a living at writing. However, my mother was of the "get a real job" mindset; thus, I went to college, then graduate school, to become a community college chemistry instructor. I tried a science journalism course of study in graduate school, but the pack of wolves science reporters at a major science conference really turned me off the field. I also dislike research writing in chemistry, chemical education, and educational technology as well. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind research. What I mind is the publish-or-perish mentality that permeates academia, so that professors (or their graduate students) publish research papers simply to say they've published them, not to clearly communicate their findings, let alone present a technique or chemical which might have practical value. In fact, I found that the fastest way to tick off a potential graduate advisor is to ask if his or her research has any practical use or benefit.

Now I'm an adult over 29 (and I won't say how much over hehehe), I have even less time to write since I have to work to pay the bills. Right now I'm commuting three hours round-trip twice a week to my job, and I'm too exhausted to write much on this blog or my journal. Fortunately, in one month I'll be moving closer to my job, which will help. I've also done a little science curriculum writing, which has dried up since the economy fizzled. I don't know if I'll ever write well enough to write fiction, and my poetry isn't the best. I will always write in some form or fashion because I'm happiest when I'm writing in this blog or in my journal. If I could combine writing for love and for money, I would be thrilled. One of my colleagues in the Biology Department just self-published a children's book about a boy and fire ants. I don't know how his sales are going right now, but earlier in the semester he couldn't get anyone to buy a book. Self-promotion is definitely not one of my strengths, so self-publication is out of the question. I guess I'll still be debating this question repeatedly. Frankly, the thought of writing something, sending out queries, getting acceptance or rejection letters, and promotions scares the living daylights out of me. Until I resolve this question, I'll still write.

Anxiety is...

worrying over everything without accomplishing a thing!

I've felt better...

I've felt better in past days,
When I could breathe in peace,
And not worry about money that pays
The bills that never cease.

I've felt better in past years,
When I experienced life
With wonder and adventure, dismissing fears
Of causing unneeded strife.

Although at present not feeling well,
I know that soon this too will pass.
I'll live another day, about the true God to tell
Whom none can ever surpass.

End of semester blahs

Blah blah blah

Now that I've quit the second job in April, and the semester is over, all I want to do is sleep. I'm more exhausted than I realized, but I also wanted to clean my apartment and take clothes I don't wear (or no longer wear) to Goodwill. I've made a dent in the second task, but not the first. However, I still have two weeks to get things done before the 12-week summer session begins. Sometimes I (and probably the rest of us) just need to take a break and rest, so we can keep going.

Don't be a stranger...

which should actually be my tag-line. After all, I haven't written on this blog in three months, so it's past time for a new post. Among a few things going on:

1. I've been learning Chinese for the past few months; however, working two jobs and pursuing other interests have really dragged me down. Thus, I don't know how long I'll continue with it. Maybe I should just take a break from it for a while.

2. I can't seem to find the right car (4-door gas-saving economy car) at the right price. Annoying, very annoying :/

3. I've been rediscovering historical fiction, but I never imagined that I'd be checking out Spanish history of all things, particularly during the reigns of Isabella and Ferdinand (late 1400s-early 1500s). One newer author I've discovered is C.W. Gortner, who wrote a novel (The Last Queen) about Isabella and Ferdinand's daughter Juana, commonly known as Juana la Loca (Joanna the Mad), who may not have been as crazy as her contemporaries made her out to be. He has a book coming out on Isabella sometime next year. I.Can't.Wait. However, a large part of the history of Texas is tied up with the history of Spain since Spain ruled Texas for over 300 years. Of course, they're examples to show that humans have neither the ability nor the right to rule themselves, no matter how good their intentions.

4. Not only do I need to write an exam this weekend, but I also need to grade papers. I'm really having a hard time motivating myself to grade since it's not one of my favorite activities. Maybe if I write the exam first, I might feel like grading papers. I've already promised the students I would have both quizzes and some labs graded, and I really need to keep my promise. Unfortunately, the library books keep calling my name ;)

5. This winter, for the most part, has been milder than last winter. However, the bitter cold, snow, and sleet that we had the last two weeks have more than made up for it. I can't stand the cold weather because all I want to do is sleep, and it makes me depressed, so I can't do anything, which is a problem.

That's it for now, but I'll try to post more often.

From the ridiculous to the sublime

For those who don't know, the motor went out on my car about a month ago, and a generous sister from my congregation is letting me borrow her spare van. However, I'm looking for a good, fuel-efficient car that will get me to and from work in Cypress, and will be good for the field ministry, so I've been combing the ads on the local paper's website, Craigslist, and tamu.forsale. Unfortunately, the cars are either more than I can afford, or they're being sold for parts.
Another brother has a used car lot, and he has a Mazda 626 (maroon, people, maroon of all colors in this town). I went over to test drive today, but could not, because....

 

 the mechanism that moves the seat forward doesn't work. Yep, you heard right, I can't move the seat forward so that my stubby little legs can reach the pedals. Who said that little things don't mean much? For such a small thing, that one problem turned into a huge issue because I couldn't safely drive the car if my feet can't reach the pedals, and I'm not buying a car I can't drive! If that isn't the most insane thing I've dealt with in cars, I don't know what is. If the whole situation wasn't so funny and ridiculous, I'd be crying right now. Back to square one...and hoping somewhere that I have a rich uncle or aunt to front me the money... not happening anytime soon :( Time to pray some more!

In the meantime...psst, hey Aggies who need a new car, there's a maroon Mazda 626 at Cal's Body Shop in Bryan that's calling your name, especially if you're over 5'2" and don't need to move the seat up to reach the pedals. Kurtis would be happy to help you get the Aggie car of your dreams ;)